I don't know what my problem is latley, I have been so miserable.

I hate when I start to have bouts of depression like this, it has been a while since I have felt this crappy, I wish the feeling would go away.

About 7-8 years ago I was diagnosed with depression, nothing major, it more or less feels like a seasonal things (as soon as the weather becomes more fall/winter like - I turn into an emotional mess), logically, it would make sense to move to a location where this does not occur then it will no longer happen (or at least I think it won't), but I hate change...moving away I think would just be too much for me to handle...but I do dream about it, almost daily!

Originally, I was on medication, but it felt fake...it was not right for me, I always felt jittery with a false sense of happiness...at least this way I can feel my emotions...even if they do suck!

I think I am also going a bit stir crazy as previously mentioned, maybe I need a vacation or something!!

To make matters worse, I am turning 25 in less than a month...not that the age itself scares me...but I had so many hopes for myself, that I always thought would be accomplished by the age of 25...for example getting married and other things like that, and since I have not accomplished any of those things - it is getting to me.

I feel like Terry and I are always fighting with each other, I know that is getting to me, my blood pressure has to be through the roof, I can tell because I never get headaches and I have had one everynight for about two weeks (if not more) by now...I hate taking anything for headaches, but they get so fierce that you can't do anything but.

I guess, I just feel like complaining today...and, now I am done!